So I attended a meditation class last night with Kaitlyn. Oh. my. goodness. I felt the depression melt off of me. It put me in this perfect state of separation from my emotion. It blew away the storm raging within me. It was non-religious and all the people there were SO nice. The art of meditation teaches many things, here are a few that were prominent for me:
-loving kindness, spreading your love to others, no matter where they are or what they believe
-Bc stress, anxiety, depression all have immense effects on the body, meditation helps your physiology. I didn't even realize how many things those symptoms effect in the body
- Instead of forcing thoughts out, which is stressful in itself, they teach you to allow the thoughts to flow through your mind, but you become an observer of them, watching them just float by on a leaf in a river.
- Theres also a point where they ask you to imagine yourself at the center of yourself..meditating inside yourself. And you observe yourself. I really liked this because much of them time I ignore myself...if that makes sense. I don't like being with myself. So hopefully this practice will teach me to love myself and be more comfortable with just me.
- It increases your serotonin levels
- Helps with focus
Amazing addition to my holistic perspective of care for myself. God shows me things everyday that are helping and he even humbles you as to take some things from other religions.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Health
I have a few passions I feel I need to focus on more:
1. Healthy living
- running 45 mins in morning
- meditating, prayer, pushing negative thoughts away
- journaling
- eating extremely healthy ( I was very successful all day today! woo!)
- growing my own veggies
2. Music
I almost convinced myself to just become a counselor..but I know my passion lies in healing people with music.
- read more on the science of music
- volunteer with Jessica and Chaz
- practice flute and harp
3. Jesus
- meet with him in our garden
- trust
- know that he loves me, just as I am
1. Healthy living
- running 45 mins in morning
- meditating, prayer, pushing negative thoughts away
- journaling
- eating extremely healthy ( I was very successful all day today! woo!)
- growing my own veggies
2. Music
I almost convinced myself to just become a counselor..but I know my passion lies in healing people with music.
- read more on the science of music
- volunteer with Jessica and Chaz
- practice flute and harp
3. Jesus
- meet with him in our garden
- trust
- know that he loves me, just as I am
Sunday, May 29, 2011
I am at a certain point in life where all of the things that I knew could and would be problems for me later...the little things that I ignored and didn't handle because they helped me stay sane through the storms, have collided into one another and have formed a immeasurable weight that is becoming painful to carry. Most people would say...oh, well that's easy. Just let Jesus carry it. Pocket christian advice.
What do people mean when they say that?
Ignore the problem? Ignoring doesn't mean it will go away. We face our problems. But as long as the problems are there they are still painful.
John 14: 1-6
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I do and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."
He has many rooms? A place for me to meet with him? Then he will take me with him?
Jesus the psychologist. I shouldn't ignore the problem. I shouldn't just put it in a sack and give it him. I need to sit down with him, in our place he has given me, and work through the stuff.
I know he disciplines those he loves..but the issue of emotion is still something I do not understand. Why am I depressed, to the point of feeling like I need to be hit by a train or something, when I know that the infinite, expansive, mysterious, beautiful Lord of universe loves me and wants me?? What is wrong with me that I am not satisfied by that? That I cry every night and wish I had someone to talk to who loved me for me..not some plastic christian or perfect Suzie homemaker, or a submissive woman who keeps her mouth shut and follows the man blindly. He MADE ME emotional, passionate, driven, opinionated, a critical thinker, observer, analytical. Why do men feel threatened by me, especially christian men at that?
Ryan always tells me: its going to take a special man to love you..
.....a special man. where will I find one of those?
Stop Kristen.
Thats the problem. You wont find. He will come.
But how do I stop the agony. codependency. impulsiveness. crippling depression. until he gets here.
And I don' t think its going to be as easy as Jesus just taking it away. I've asked for years.
What do people mean when they say that?
Ignore the problem? Ignoring doesn't mean it will go away. We face our problems. But as long as the problems are there they are still painful.
John 14: 1-6
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I do and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."
He has many rooms? A place for me to meet with him? Then he will take me with him?
Jesus the psychologist. I shouldn't ignore the problem. I shouldn't just put it in a sack and give it him. I need to sit down with him, in our place he has given me, and work through the stuff.
I know he disciplines those he loves..but the issue of emotion is still something I do not understand. Why am I depressed, to the point of feeling like I need to be hit by a train or something, when I know that the infinite, expansive, mysterious, beautiful Lord of universe loves me and wants me?? What is wrong with me that I am not satisfied by that? That I cry every night and wish I had someone to talk to who loved me for me..not some plastic christian or perfect Suzie homemaker, or a submissive woman who keeps her mouth shut and follows the man blindly. He MADE ME emotional, passionate, driven, opinionated, a critical thinker, observer, analytical. Why do men feel threatened by me, especially christian men at that?
Ryan always tells me: its going to take a special man to love you..
.....a special man. where will I find one of those?
Stop Kristen.
Thats the problem. You wont find. He will come.
But how do I stop the agony. codependency. impulsiveness. crippling depression. until he gets here.
And I don' t think its going to be as easy as Jesus just taking it away. I've asked for years.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
The Effects of Bad Parenting/Enviroment
I think most people can agree that most children who have grown up in an atmosphere that is not nurturing and loving are at a disadvantage. Studies have shown that kids that are not cared for properly in the first 3 years of their lives can actually enter preschool underdeveloped mentally. That seems to be giving the effects of an environment a large amount of power, but have we ever really thought about how an environment might influence us? Sure, we all might have tendencies, or generational things, but have we thought about how a simple action might influence a child's perceptions of reality then and into adulthood? For example, children who have parents who are very negative and insulting to their children. Say the child does bad on a test, and the parent punishes the child, says the child is stupid and tells the child to try harder.
a. the parent is giving punishment without even knowing the cause, the child may have tried his best and still failed, which makes the child think that he IS stupid and there's nothing that can be done
b. telling the kid to try harder probably will not do any good..maybe they need help..
c. because the child was not encouraged, he might fall behind in school, not develop accordingly, fail numerous grades, and then drop out of school, which might make him turn to criminal activities because of lack of work, which might lead him to drugs, among other things, which gives him a life of addiction.
All of these things can be a process from childhood. Some people have different thought patterns. Some people naturally have stronger personalities or run into a great situation that causes them to realize their bad thinking pattern.
As people, we naturally model behavior. That's why there are social standards for behavior. Unfortunately, some children get stuck modeling the wrong ones.
THIS is why I think it is so important for christians to be UNDERSTANDING, PATIENT people. We are here to give the right thought patterns (Jesus thoughts) not negatively condemn them even more. Just a thought :)
a. the parent is giving punishment without even knowing the cause, the child may have tried his best and still failed, which makes the child think that he IS stupid and there's nothing that can be done
b. telling the kid to try harder probably will not do any good..maybe they need help..
c. because the child was not encouraged, he might fall behind in school, not develop accordingly, fail numerous grades, and then drop out of school, which might make him turn to criminal activities because of lack of work, which might lead him to drugs, among other things, which gives him a life of addiction.
All of these things can be a process from childhood. Some people have different thought patterns. Some people naturally have stronger personalities or run into a great situation that causes them to realize their bad thinking pattern.
As people, we naturally model behavior. That's why there are social standards for behavior. Unfortunately, some children get stuck modeling the wrong ones.
THIS is why I think it is so important for christians to be UNDERSTANDING, PATIENT people. We are here to give the right thought patterns (Jesus thoughts) not negatively condemn them even more. Just a thought :)
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